SOMEBODY ASK MY SOUL

 

Parents love me but not enough .

Friends  are fascinating,
Interesting , motivating and encouraging but not enough.
Books and exams keep me busy .
They bestow a purpose upon my purposeless existence but not enough.
I try wine , outing , congregation, seclusion, sex , sleep ... but not enough.
Someone seems to have shot an iron arrow at my crystal firmament .
So,  all my cherished dreams are falling down in bits and pieces like the precious chandeliers .
Seeing my dreams fall one after another, I scream loudly but not loud enough.
Some passersby look at me but not long enough.
Some sympathisers talk to me sometimes but not sweet enough.
I receive a phone call or two now and then .
I receive a message , an email or an SMS  occasionally. 
I do  receive such things but not enough.
Is life really a curse or it seems to me so ?
Why Can I not be happy , normal , loved , wanted , respected , and busy  like others ?
Are people really as much happy as they seem to be ?
I eat , drink , study, walk , shop , laugh and sleep too.
I am happy but not happy enough.
My mute soul has something important to say .
May be, it has the answer to my disturbing questions !
May be , it knows the cure of my daily sufferings .
It speaks to me but not audible enough.
Please, somebody ask my soul .
Ask it what does it want ?
Else, I have decided to set it free from the prison of my body.
I have decided to close my eyes eternally.
If someone requests me, later,  to open my eyes , I tell you, I will not open . 

[Sahil Sharifdin Ëñglísh]